While I Was Gone

Last weekend I ran away from home and joined the circus.

Well, not really.

Instead it was a dog show, but certainly felt like a circus. I had dueling divas, people with freaky hair and 100 plus dachshunds all in one building. And to top it all off I was coming down with a cold.

The divas are two very volatile people that repeatedly clashed throughout the weekend and unfortunately my job was to blunt them. I would steer them away from each other and listen to them vent. The funniest moment was when one them came to me hysterical over one aspect of the show. A vital element was missing for that day's show and the diva didn't know what to do. I politely listened and pointed out that we had the corresponding element for the next day's show on site and we could just switch them. If the missing item did not appear by day's end we could easily replace it in time for the next day. This calm reasoning completely deflated the diva. I hard a hard time not smiling as the wind left the diva's sails, there was no more drama. And as Meryl will tell you, I have no patience for drama. At that precise instant the missing item appeared. The diva then fluttered off to the next "crisis."

Then there was the hair. Most people in the dog show world are reasonably coiffed with the occasional bad toupee. The only oddity may be the tendency to use the same combs and brushes on both the owners/handlers and the dogs. But that isn't as bad as it sounds since the dogs are all squeaky clean. This weekend, however, I got to see a wig that really challenged me. Part of me wanted to take picture so I could share with Meryl, but another part realized that taking a picture would be very bad. I decided to be an agent of good, so instead I'll describe it to y'all. Imagine an average middle aged white guy, with glasses and is a bit stout around the middle sporting the locks of Michael Jackson from "Thriller."

It was just so wrong, but the guy looked so happy. All I can say is that I wish him well.

I'm telling you the movie "Best in Show" is not that far off.