Monday, May 02, 2005

A Public Service Announcement

Whatever you do, do not buy this.

We were at the supermarket yesterday to pick up a few things for dinner. While we were there I decided we needed more fruit. Jake and Nate saw the kiwano melon and wanted to get it. I said sure, I’m always willing to try new fruits. The star fruit we got a while back was good so why not? The name made me think of kiwis and melons, a lovely sounding combination.

The fruit is a beautiful orange color, veined with pale yellow. The spikes are hard and can really hurt when the fruit is swung about in a plastic bag. By the time we got to the check out the bag was shredded.

Once we got it home and I decided that I should cut away the horny outer layer. It did not seem edible. Then I sliced open the fruit exposing a shocking green interior filled with seeds. It looked like a mutant cucumber. At this point I should have stopped, the phrase alien seed pod seem to describe this perfectly. Nothing ever good comes from an alien seed pod.

Jake was a brave soul and gamely tried a piece. He said it was not bad. It tasted like a combination of cucumber and celery. He then declined to eat any more. The rest of the kids scattered after the show was over. I decided I would try it later when I would no longer have an audience.

After everybody was tucked into bed I cut off a little more for me to taste.

It was awful.

Jake’s description of the taste was dead on. What he neglected to mention was the texture. It was horribly slimy. I couldn’t even swallow the stuff. I rushed to the garbage and spat it out. The rest of the fruit shortly followed. I’m glad that the kids did not see that little display. I’m always trying to get them to eat new things. Watching mommy spit out fruit and make a big yucky face would not help my cause. Maybe I could have choked it down, but my expression would have betrayed me.

So whatever you do, do not offer us kiwano melon.

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