Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Spam Spam Spam Spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful Spam!

I thought I would share some gems from my bulk mail folder. I like to take a peek before I dump its contents, because I have a friend whose emails get occasionally shunted there. And hey, I would miss out on some fairly funny stuff.

From Della Lancaster I get the following missive, “Give me a break toad deceit.” What I want to know is she writing about the deception of toads and how she tires of it all? Or is she calling me a deceitful toad? Toads strike me as fairly straightforward creatures. They do secrete a mild toxin, but it is only a problem if you stick them in your mouth. Generally it is a good idea not to stick things in your mouth, so I don’t view this as deceitful behavior. So I guess she is calling me a toad. Fine, off to the trash you go!

“Wow! Won’t she be impressed.” came from Muffin Jack. Muffin Jack? Studmuffin Jack would be a bit more intriguing. Muffin Jack makes me think of a very large man who is overly fond of baked goods. Oh, and who is this woman I want to impress and why do I want to impress her? Eh, I’ll just delete it.

Then there is this very tragic note that I received a few weeks ago. “Late Mr. John (insert my last name here)” from Martin Nnorom. I actually read this one. It is the current scam du jour where a “lawyer” trolls for someone with the same last name as the deceased so that monies can be collected from escrow. You make a claim as the next of kin and split the money with the “lawyer.” All you need to do is provide your checking account information. Yeah right. The irony of it all is that read this little saga with my dog John was at my feet. His registered name with AKC actually contains (insert my last name here)’s John. As far as I can tell he is still alive and has no money of his own except the 5 dollars he won at a dog show that I spent on lunch for me. To the trash folder it is.

And finally here is my current favorite: from Carolyn Bullock “Get it straight hyena bhoy.” Too bad about the typo at the end, but I’m very understanding since I make typos all the time. The subject line itself just amuses me. It reminds me of Buckaroo Banzai and Lord John Whorfin’s quote: “Laugh while you can, monkey-boy.” I really liked that movie. Maybe I should pick up a copy; the kids would find it hilarious. Anyway, I’m not a hyena b(h)oy and I don’t want whatever Ms. Bullock is selling. It’s probably just a load of bullocks (heh).

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