Monday, July 09, 2007

Finally, Something Inedible

Hey! Anything in here?
Originally uploaded by Teckelcar
I like to tell people that there is a reason that dachshunds are shaped just like a canister vacuum cleaner. They are low to the ground and suck up any morsel of food or near-food they can find. All baked goods are delicious, no matter how stale or mushy they are. At a very young age my children learned to hold cookies up high when walking about. If they relaxed their guard and held it at dog height, it was gone and they only had themselves to blame.

Meat (raw, cooked, jerked or rotten) is always a delight. I once wrestled a raw NY strip steak out of the jaws of Crunch. We had guests over and we were going to grill a few steaks. I thought I had set the raw steaks out of reach on the table while I readied the grill. One of our guests watched as Crunch reached up and nosed them off the table. As Crunch greedily wolfed one down, our guest though we were awfully generous to our dogs. That opinion changed when he saw me return, shriek and grapple with my dog. Even black pepper buffalo jerky was something to be inhaled.

Fruits and vegetables too are fair game. Rally loved tomatoes and I would have to fence them to keep her out of the plants. I thought this year I could skip the fence, until I saw Crunch nosing about and trying to snag a few green ones. Plain lettuce might be rejected, but with a little dressing or another dog nearby and the lettuce is gone. Rhubarb would be spat out uncooked, but once it is in a pie, it’s all good.

Candy is something to be devoured wrapper and all. Entire boxes of macaroni cheese, uncooked noodles along with the foil pouch with powdered cheese, have been eaten. Used napkins, old food wrappers you name it, it’s been eaten. Heck, Crunch almost ate a turtle once and John ate a toad with no ill affects. Dogs are scavengers and mine are not the exception.

After years, nay decades of living with dachshunds I have finally found something deemed inedible by a dachshund.

John nailed a yellow “Bubble Babies Sour Gum Ball” just the other day. It had fallen unnoticed on the floor until John found it. He quietly snuck off to the other room to eat his prize and settled down to take a big bite.

One chomp was all it took. He spat it out and stared at it, his tongue going in and out of his mouth as though to get the foul taste out. He practically shuddered when I held the gum ball near him.

According to Nate this is a very sour candy with the yellow ones doubly so. Nate doesn’t like them and neither does John.

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